literature

PKMN Skies: Asuka vs The Beach

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“Hello?  Is anybody here?”  Asuka had to shield her eyes from the beach sun, so she couldn’t see if anyone was there.

The crashing tides and distant Wingull squawks answered her question.

The Raichu blindly stumbled along the beach until she found a dune to hide behind.  Opening her eyes, she saw that not only were there no people, there was no trash.  Just clean beach as far as the eye could see.

“Awww, what!?”  Asuka slumped down.  “Everyone already came and went!?”  

“Yea, verily!”  A strange voice answered from atop the dune.

Asuka looked up and saw a Kabutops toting a garbage bag.

“The band of heroes sallied forth at, oh, 10 in the AM.”  Asuka always liked how this guy spoke, but it also weirded her out at times.

“Well, what time is it now?”

“One in the afternoon.”

Asuka started counting the hours on her paw.

“You missed them by three hours.”  The Kabutops sounded annoyed.

“Well, do you need any help?”

“I should say not.”  The Kabutops shifted to a triumphant tone.  “I hath scoured this region from top to bottom.  You’ll not find nary a can nor crumb.”

“Man…Now no one’ll see my good swimsuit… I really wanted to help out.  Everyone’s gonna think I’m lazy…”

“Well, it is an hour past noon…”

With a heavy sigh and mighty roll of her eyes, Asuka picked herself up and walked away from the Kabutops.  Shoulders slumped and sulks spewing out of her mouth, she headed for the ocean.  If she couldn’t clean the beach, she may as well use it.

“Cannon ball…Huh?”  Asuka jumped into the water…But she didn’t go in.  She just went…on the water.

“Wh-what’s going on?”  She stood up, still not sinking into the water.  “Why is this water so thick…And gooey…Omigosh!  Is that a face!?”

“Buuuuurp.”  A burp came out of a mouth at Asuka’s heels.  Two lazy eyes looked up at her.

“Eeeewwww…”  Asuka jumped away from the water and looked at it from the safety of the sand.  “Wh…What is this?

The tide receded, but the water Asuka sat on didn’t.  As the salty water pulled away, the creepy water became purple.  A lightbulb went off in Asuka’s head.

“OH!  I know what you are!  You’re a….A, uh…Doooooooooh!  You’re a--”

“Muk!”  The purple water coughed.

“I was gonna say that!”  Asuka put her paw to her chin.  “Man, there’s trash, but you’re living trash!  I can’t believe everyone missed you….OH!  That means that I’ll be the one who catches you!  That’s how I’ll help clean the beach!”

Asuka leaned over to the Muk and grinned.  “I’ll move you somewhere else, and I’ll help everyone out!  What d’ya think of that?”

The Muk stretched an arm out and tried to grab Asuka.

“Woaaah!  I’m not a snack to eat!”  Asuka jumped back to buy her some precious distance.  The Muk’s arm just fell to the ground and stained the sand.

Asuka ran off.  The Muk sat there.  A few minutes later, Asuka came back with a glass.  The Muk was still sitting there.

“As Bruce ‘The Hitmon’ Lee said, ‘If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.’  Of course, he wasn’t talking about just water when he said that, and you’re not actually water, but you get what I mean.”

Asuka tried scooping the Muk up with the glass, but all she managed to do was send that glass sinking into the its body.

“…That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Bluurp.”

“Ewww!  I lived on a tour bus, but your breath really stinks!”

“Breh heh heh heh…”

“Oh, ha ha.  Laugh it up, Smooze.”  Asuka sat down and put her paw to her chin.  Suddenly, the Muk started moving toward her.  “Woah!  Stop trying to eat me!”  Another lightbulb went off.  “That’s it!”

Asuka scurried excitedly through the beach, kicking up clouds of sand like a cartoon desert bird drawn much larger than it really is.  It wasn’t long before she ran into a familiar Kabutops.

“Hey, mister!”  Asuka shouted as she came up behind the Kabutops.

“Egad!”  The Kabutops spun around in an instant and almost put a blade through Asuka’s neck.  Oh right…Asuka forgot that he’s some kind of fighter.  That’s awesome, but she’ll have to talk about that some other time.

“Oh…Uh…Heh heh.”  Asuka nervously laughed as the Kabutops removed his weapon from her neck.  “Um…C-can I borrow your trashbag?”

“Oh, that’s generous of you!”  The Kabutops was pleased to hear this.  He handed over his bag.  “If you’d be so kind as to dispose of this rubbish for me, I can head straight home and partake of a nap.”

“Yeah…Dispose.”

The Kabutops watched Asuka speed off in the wrong direction.  Something’s wrong with that child.

It took Asuaka a few moments to remember where she left her pet project but thankfully, it hadn’t moved an inch in that time.  The Muk lifted its arm and wagged it back and forth.

“Man, you must really wanna eat me if you’re trying to reach from that far away.”  Asuka noted as she stopped a few feet in front the sentient oil spill.  “But don’t worry.  I’ve got something even better!”

Asuka pulled out a lump of mold that used to be a pretzel and waved it around to catch the Muk’s attention.  It didn’t really look like it was watching the pretzel, but that’s probably because its eyes are just slow.

“I don’t know much about you guys, but I know you’re living garbage.  That means you like to eat garbage and nasty things.  Well, here ya go!”

Asuka tossed the moldy pretzel to the Muk’s mouth.  It didn’t seem to chew, but the pretzel sank in nonetheless; the Muk seemed happy about it too, so that’s all the counted.  Asuka stood up, took a few steps back and placed a stinky soda can down.  The Muk didn’t move.

“Come on!”  Asuka waved to the Muk.  “There’s more trash over here!  Come on over!”

The Muk sat there for 10 seconds.  It felt like an hour, but watches the world over will assure you it was only 10 seconds.  The Muk sat there for 10 seconds before it finally reached out with its hand.  With a grunt, it dragged itself forward and absorbed the soda can.

“Alright!”  Asuka jumped in the air with the excitement and poise of a cheerleader.

“Bree hee!”  The Muk…laughed?  Guess it really liked eating that can.

Asuka skipped along the beach, dropping trash every few feet.  At this rate, she’d have that Muk off the beach in no time.  But not everything was roses and sunshine…

“Pardon me, young maiden,” the Kabutops from earlier just had to butt in.  “Are you…putting rubbish back on the ground?”

“What?  Oh, this?  Don’t worry, I’m actually working on a plan to clean up the beach!”

“By…soiling it?”

“No, no, no!”  Asuka nervously sputtered.  “I’m luring a Muk off the beach with your garbage!  It’s the perfect plan because Muk’s are dumb and love garbage!  I thought of everything!”

Asuka reached back into the trashbag…Wait…Where’s the trash?  Asuka flipped the bag upside down and shook it.  Why isn’t anything falling out!?

“Everything, except how much rubbish you actually had?”  The Kabutops crossed his arms and gave Asuka a dubious look…Which was actually pretty impressive, considering his arms are giant scythes and his face has almost no features.

“Uh…uh…”  Asuka looked around nervously.  “H-hold on…I-I-I can fix this!”

Too late.  The Muk had already caught up and was heading straight of Asuka.

“Wait…He’s still moving.  That’s not bad.  Maybe I can still lure him out…Hey!  He didn’t eat any of the trash!”

As the Muk continued to slither forward, it became clear that all of the garbage Asuka had been laying out for it was just…sticking out in weird places of its body.

“Well, of course not.”  The Kabutops chimed in.  “Like-Likes don’t eat solids.  They eat only liquid refuse.”

“Like-Likes?”  Asuka asked as she backed away from the incoming Muk, only to find her back up against a sandy wall.

“Sorry, that’s what we called them in days of old.  In any event, they used to eat muddy water and other forms of liquid refuse.  Never had taste for solid rubbish or children…But we told the children they did anyway.”

The Muk ‘stood up’ and looked down at Asuka.  With nowhere to run to, she just turned her head and closed her eyes.

“Well, if he doesn’t wanna eat trash and he doesn’t wanna eat me, then what does he want?”

A shadow cast over Asuka.  A sappy mouth stretched from the Muk’s face.  Asuka clenched every muscle to make her body rock-type-hard.  What she found on her cheek, however, was soft.  Gooey, but soft.

Smmmmmmmooch.

“Wh…What was that?”  Asuka was frozen with fear, but her eyes shot open.

“Awww.”  The Kabutops smiled with his eyes as he put his blades on his hips.  “ ‘Twould seem you have an admirer!”

Suddenly, it all made sense.  The Muk wasn’t trying to grab her earlier; it was waving to her.  It wasn’t trying to eat her; it was trying to hug her.  It didn’t want the garbage; it wanted her!

“No.  No!  NOOOOOOOOO!”  Asuka screamed as the Muk picked her up in a hug.

“Well, I can see that you have these matters well in hand.”  The Kabutops said as he walked towards the forest bordering the beach.  “Your new friend has picked up all the rubbish you threw around and you’ll clean the beach when you take him home.  Congratulations, my friend!  You’re a boon to our community!”

“What!?  No!  You can’t leave me here!”  Asuka pleaded as the Kabutops left her there.

Asuka squirmed to free herself, but the Muk’s sappy body was thicker than molasses and it wasn’t long before she tired herself out.  She hung in her ‘new friend’s’ hug limply as another kiss stuck to the side of her face.

“Uuuuugh.  I shouldn’t have worn my good swimsuit…”
:iconpkmnskies:

My submission to PKMNSkies' first event: cleaning up the beach.  As you can see, however, Asuka's performance here has room for improvement.  A for effort.  F for Not-Getting-Kissed-by-a-Muk (which, sadly, makes up the majority of her grade).

Asuka originates from a sad fanfic, so I like raining on her parade every chance I get.  I also like making cameos for Sir Gawain that Maiden-Chynna TOOOOOOOTALLY approved of...Wait...She actually did.  She proofread the story and said she liked it...

I didn't remember that Ash Ketchum had an overly-affectionate Muk until after I wrote this story.  I considered replacing Smooze with a Garbador, but I found Muk so much more disgusting and fun to play with.  Whoops.

You can find the full cover image here.
© 2015 - 2024 Dr-InSean
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Maiden-Chynna's avatar
Sorry I didn't include a comment earlier, I wanted to wait until I was fully awake and such.

I love this so much. I love Asuka, I love how her personality. I love how the Muk is so... bleh.

And I love the personality you are giving Gawain. I am still not sure how to make him act, but this is certainly something I will base him off of.

Keep writing. FOREVER